Walls

Off the wall;
Fly on the wall;
Up the wall;
The writing is on the wall;
Climb the walls;
Wall of fog;
Back to the wall;
But between me and you and these 4 walls, I am bloody sick of walls.

Why do we build these walls around ourselves and our emotions? Why do we fortify our hearts? Is it for self-preservation? Is it instinct not to be our true selves for fear of rejection or pain? Is it from past experience of pain and little rips in your heart?

I felt the masons of my heart start erecting a little wall today. It was a little tweek, an indirect tweek but got me thinking and doubting and suddenly I realized I was more exposed than I wanted to be....brick, mortor, brick, mortor....take away the brick, tear it down, no no build it up, build it higher....nah fuck it, take it down....

I want the wall, I want it to create just a bit of a barrier to separate myself, and create a bit of distance, but then I wouldn't be true to myself. I don't want the walls. Full of confusion and contradiction...Which leads me to the next question: are walls a necessary evil? Is it different if we build the walls with concrete as opposed to straw? The big bad wolf was able to huff and puff instead of using a wrecking ball.

Maybe we just need condoms for our heart. Who the hell knows. I certainly don't.